My Journey - Rachel Conjurske

I walked along a darkened path,
No light there was for me.

I walked along a darkened path,
No light there was for me.
My path was meant for only pain,
And deep as pain can be.

I cried, oh Lord, where are you?
How could you treat me so?
To leave me in this awful state,
It seems you just don’t know.

It seemed the more I asked my Lord,
To take away my load,
The heavier my pain became,
And darker seemed the road.

It seemed he didn’t know where I was,
He never saw my tears.
He couldn’t hear my pleas for help.
He didn’t know my fears.

But here is what I didn’t know,
My Lord was by my side.
He held my hand all through the night,
And watched me as I cried.

He had me in his hands like dough,
And just like bakers do,
He added, pinched and pressed on me,
My will to so subdue.

He finally got me rolled out
Upon the cookie sheet,
He opened up the oven door,
And turned up all the heat.

I didn’t even try to fight.
He put me in the heat.
I lifted up my eyes to him.
I knew that he had beat.

He closed the oven door and left.
I thought he gave me up.
I thought he left me up to die,
Alone to drink my cup.

I baked in there a good long while.
I hardly dared to cry.
I wished my Saviour would come back,
To check me by and by.

I felt alone and oh, so scared,
So what else could I do?
I cried for Jesus in my pain,
And cried for grace anew.

I wasn’t sure he’d hear me though.
Could he hear a wretch like me?
But when I cried he answered me.
He’d never left, you see.

My child, he very gently said,
I never left your side.
I stayed within this burning heat.
I watched you as you cried.

I watched the tears run down your cheeks,
As heat was sure applied.
I watched the fire burn away,
The self and sin and pride.

I waited for you, child of mine,
To see me through this pain,
But you were busy crying out,
“Lord, what could be the gain?”

I did not give you any more,
Than what I had to do.
I wasn’t there to have some fun,
Or just to torture you.

I wanted you to be like me,
To help another soul.
So this is what I had to do.
That was my only goal.

“Dear Lord, I cried, forgive me please.
I see your love anew,
I know I’ll never have to doubt,
My confidence in you.”

We stepped outside the oven door,
Where life was sad and drear,
But what I couldn’t seem to find,
Was all my pain and fear.

Somewhere within that burning heat,
I lost it all I know.
For with my Saviour by my side,
Where could I fear to go?

My joy is full, my peace is sure,
I ‘m happy as can be.
I’m singing of my Saviou’rs love,
Who rescued even me.

Rachel Conjurske

July 11, 2006