TEN REASONS WHY I DRINK

1. I enjoy vomiting.
2. My wife likes my breath and bleary eyes.
3. My children respect me more.
4. I hope to win the safe-driving award.
5. I plan to encourage juvenile delinquency.
6. I want to provide more good citizens such as bartenders and pub operators.
7. I can think so clearly.
8. I collect bottles. Drinking saves the cost of buying them.
9. I look forward to retiring in a “flophouse” on Skid Row.
10. I want to prove the Bible is right when it says, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” (Proverbs 20:1)