A FAITHFUL FRIEND – Charles Spurgeon

A FAITHFUL FRIEND

“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24.

CICERO has well said, “Friendship is the only thing in the world concerning the usefulness of which all mankind are agreed.” Friendship seems as necessary an element of a comfortable existence in this world as fire or water, or even air itself. A man may drag along a miserable existence in proud solitary dignity, but his life is scarcely a life. It is nothing but an existence, the tree of being, stripped of the leaves of hope and the fruits of joy. He who would be happy must have friends. And he who would be happy hereafter must, above all things, find a friend in the world to come, in the person of God, the Father of His people!

Friendship, however, though very pleasing and exceedingly blessed, has been the cause of the greatest misery to men when it has been unworthy and unfaithful. For just in proportion as a good friend is sweet, a false friend is full of bitterness. “A faithless friend is sharper than an adder’s tooth.” It is sweet to repose in someone, but oh, how bitter to have that support snapped and to receive a grievous fall as the effect of your confidence! Fidelity is an absolute necessity in a true friend. We cannot rejoice in men unless they will stand faithful to us. Solomon declares that “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” That friend, I suppose, he never found in the pomp and vanities of the world. He had tried them all, but he found them empty. He passed through all their joys, but he found them, “vanity of vanities.” Poor Savage spoke from sad experience when he said—

“You’ll find the friendship of the world a show— Mere outward show! ‘Tis like the harlot’s tears, The statesman’s promise, or false patriot’s zeal, Full of fair seeming, but delusion still.”

And so for the most part they are. The world’s friendship is always brittle. Trust to it and you have trusted a robber. Rely upon it and you have leaned upon a thorn. Yes, worse than that, upon a spear which shall pierce you to the soul with agony! Yet Solomon says he had found, “a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Not in the haunts of his unbridled pleasures, nor in the wanderings of his unlimited researches, but in the pavilion of the Most High, the secret dwelling place of God—in the person of Jesus, the Son of God—the friend of sinners!

It is saying a great thing, to affirm that “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” For the love of brotherhood has produced most valiant deeds. We have read stories of what brotherhood could do, which, we think, could hardly be excelled in all the annals of friendship. Timoleon, with his shield, stood over the body of his slain brother to defend him from the insults of the foe. It was reckoned a brave deed of brotherhood that he should dare the spears of an army in defense of his brother’s corpse. And many such instances have there been, in ancient and modern warfare, of the attachment of brethren. There is a story told of two brothers in a Highland regiment, who, while marching through the Highlands, lost their way. They were overtaken by one of the terrible storms which will sometimes come upon travelers unawares—and blinded by the snow, they lost their way upon the mountains. Well near frozen to death, it was with difficulty they could continue their march. One man after another dropped into the snow and disappeared. There were two brothers, however, of the name of Forsythe, one of them fell prostrate on the earth and would have lain there to die but his brother, though barely able to drag his own limbs across the white desert, took him on his back and carried him along—as others fell one by one. This brave true-hearted brother carried his loved one on his back until at last he fell down, overcome with fatigue, and died. His brother, however, had received such warmth from his body that he was enabled to reach the end of his journey in safety and so lived. Here we have an instance of one brother sacrificing his life for another. I hope there are some brothers here who would be prepared to do the same if they should ever be brought into the same difficulty.

It is saying a great thing to declare that, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” It is putting that friend, first of all, in the list of loved ones. For surely, next to a mother’s love, there is and there ought to be no higher affection in the world than the love of a brother to one begotten of the same father and held on the same knee. Those who have, “grown in beauty side by side and filled one house with glee,” ought to love one another! And we think there have been many glorious instances and mighty proofs of the love of brothers.

Yet, says Solomon, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” To repeat our assertion, we believe that this friend is the blessed Redeemer, Jesus Christ. It shall be ours first, to prove, this morning, the fact that He sticks closer than a brother. Then as briefly as we can, to show you why He sticks closer than a brother. And then to finish up by giving you some lessons which may be drawn from the doctrine that Jesus Christ is a faithful friend.

I. CHRIST IS A FRIEND THAT STICKS CLOSER THAN A BROTHER

And in order to prove this from facts, we appeal to such of you as have had Him for a friend. Will you not, each of you, at once give your verdict that this is neither more nor less than an unexaggerated truth of God? He loved you before all worlds! Long before the day star flung his ray across the darkness, before the wings of angels had flapped the unnavigated ether, before anything of creation had struggled from the womb of nothingness, God, even our God, had set His heart upon all His children! Since that time, has He never swerved, has He once turned aside, once changed? No! You who have tasted of His love and know His grace will bear me witness that He has been a certain friend in uncertain circumstances—

“He, near your side has always stood, His loving-kindness, oh, how good!”

You fell in Adam. Did He cease to love you? No. He became the second Adam to redeem you! You sinned in practice and brought upon your head the condemnation of God. You deserved His wrath and His utter anger. Did He then forsake you? No!—

“He saw you ruined in the fall Yet loved you notwithstanding all.”

He sent His minister after you—you despised him. He preached the gospel in your ears—you laughed at him. You broke God’s Sabbath, you despised His Word. Did He then forsake you? No.—

“Determined to save, he watched over your path While Satan’s blind slave, you sported with death.”

And at last He arrested you by His grace. He humbled you, He made you penitent, He brought you to His feet and He forgave all your sins! Since then, has He left you? You have often left Him—has He ever left you? You have had many trials and troubles—has He ever deserted you? Has He ever turned away His heart or shut up His heart of compassion? No, Children of God, it is your solemn duty to say, “No,” and bear witness to His faithfulness! You have been in severe afflictions and in dangerous circumstances—did your friend desert you then? Others have been faithless to you. He that eats bread with you has lifted up his heel against you. But has Christ ever forsaken you? Has there ever been a moment when you could go to Him and say, “Master, You have betrayed me”? Could you once, in the blackest hour of your grief, dare to question His fidelity? Could you dare say to Him, “Lord, You have promised what You did not perform”? Will you not bear witness now—“Not one good thing has failed of all that the Lord God has promised. All has come to pass”?

And do you fear He will yet forsake you? Ask, then, the bright ones before the throne—“You glorified spirits! Did Christ forsake you? You have passed through Jordan’s stream, did He leave you there? You have been baptized in the black flood of death, did He forsake you there? You have stood before the throne of God—did He deny you?” And they answer, “No. Through all the troubles of our life, in all the bitterness of death, in all the agonies of our expiring moments and in all the terrors of God’s judgment, He has been with us, ‘a friend who sticks closer than a brother.’” Out of all the millions of God’s redeemed, there is not one He has forsaken! Poor they have been, mean and distressed, too, but He has never abhorred their prayer, never turned aside from doing them good! He has always been with them—

“For His mercy shall endure, Ever faithful, ever sure.”

But I shall stop on this point since I cannot prove this to the ungodly. But to the godly it is already proven—for they know it by experience! Therefore it is not necessary that I should do more than just certify the fact that Christ is a faithful friend—a friend in every hour of need and every time of distress!

II. THE REASONS WHY WE MAY DEPEND ON CHRIST AS BEING A FAITHFUL FRIEND

There are some things in Himself which render it certain that He will stick close to His people.

1. True friendship can only be made between true men, whose hearts are the soul of honor. There can be no lasting friendship between bad men. Bad men may pretend to love each other, but their friendship is a rope of sand which shall be broken at any convenient season. But if a man has a sincere heart within him and is true and noble, then we may confide in him. Spenser sings in fine old English verse—

“Ne, certes can that friendship long endure, However gay and goodly be the style, That does ill cause or evil end enure, For Vertue is the band that binds Harts most sure.”

But who can find a stain in the character of Jesus, or who can tarnish His honor? Has there ever been a spot on His escutcheon? Has His flag ever been trampled in the dust? Does He not stand the true witness in heaven, the faithful and just? Is it not declared of Him that He is God who cannot lie? Have we not found Him so up to this moment? And may we not, knowing that He is, “Holy, holy, holy Lord,” confide in Him, knowing that He will stick closer to us than a brother? His goodness is the guarantee of His fidelity—He cannot fail us!

2. Faithfulness to us in our faults is a certain sign of fidelity in a friend. You may depend upon that man who will tell you of your faults in a kind and considerate manner. Fawning hypocrites, insidious flatterers are the sweepings and offal of friendship. They are but the parasites upon that noble tree. But true friends put enough trust in you to tell you openly of your faults. Give me for a friend the man who will speak honestly of me before my face—who will not tell first one neighbor and then another but who will come straight to my house and say, “Sir, I feel there is such-and-such a thing in you, which, as my brother, I must tell you of”—that man is a true friend! He has proven himself to be so, for we never get any praise for telling people of their faults, we rather hazard their dislike! A man will sometimes thank you for it, but he does not often like you any the better. Praise is a thing we all love. I met with a man the other day who said he was impervious to flattery. I was walking with him at the time and turning round rather sharply, I said, “At any rate, sir, you seem to have a high gift in flattering yourself, for you are really doing so, in saying you are impervious to flattery.” “You cannot flatter me,” he said. I replied, “I can if I like to try and, perhaps, may do so before the day is out.” I found I could not flatter him directly, so I began by saying what a fine child that was of his. And he drank it in as a precious draught! And when I praised this thing and that belonging to him, I could see that he was very easily flattered. Not directly but indirectly. We are all pervious to flattery. We like the soothing cordial, only it must not be labeled flattery, for we have a religious abhorrence of flattery if it is so called—call it by any other name and we drink it in, even as the ox drinks in water! Now, child of God, has Christ ever flattered you? Has He not told you of your faults right truly? Has He not pricked your conscience even upon what you thought to gloss over—your little secret sins? Has He not provoked conscience to thunder in your ears notes of terror because of your misdeeds? Well, then, you may trust Him, for He shows that faithfulness which renders a man right trustworthy!

Thus I have pointed out to you that there are reasons in Himself for which we may trust Him.

III. THE INFERENCE TO BE DERIVED FROM THIS

Lavater says, “The qualities of your friends will be those of your enemies—cold friends, cold enemies; half-friends, half-enemies—fervid enemies, warm friends.” Knowing this is true, I have often congratulated myself when my enemies have spoken freely against me. “Well,” I have thought, “My friends love me hard and fast. The enemies can be as hot as they please. It only indicates that the friends are proportionately firm in affection.” Then we draw this inference—that if Christ sticks close and He is our friend—then our enemies will stick close and never leave us till we die. Oh, Christian, because Christ sticks close, the devil will stick close, too—he will be at you and with you! The dog of hell will never cease his howling till you reach the other side of Jordan. No place in this world is out of bow-shot of that great enemy! Until you have crossed the stream, his arrows can reach you and they will—if Christ gave Himself for you, the devil will do all he can to destroy you! If Christ has been long-suffering to you, Satan will be persevering, in hopes that Christ may forget you. He will strive after you and strive until he shall see you safely landed in heaven. But be not disappointed, the louder Satan roars, the more proof you shall have of Christ’s love! “Give me,” said old Rutherford, “give me a roaring devil rather than a sleeping one, for sleeping devils make me slumber but roaring ones provoke me to run to my Master.” Oh, be glad, then, if the world rants at you, if your foes attack you fiercely—Christ is just as full of love to you as they are of hatred! Therefore—

“Be firm and strong—
Be grace your shield, and Christ your song.”

And now I have a question to ask—that question I ask of every man and every woman in this place and of every child, too—Is Jesus Christ your friend? Have you a friend at court—at heaven’s court? Is the Judge of the quick and the dead your friend? Can you say that you love Him and has He ever revealed Himself in the way of love to you? Dear hearer, do not answer that question for your neighbor! Answer it for yourself. Peer or peasant, rich or poor, learned or illiterate—this question is for each of you! Therefore, ask it—“Is Christ my friend?” Did you ever consider that question? Have you ever asked it? Oh, to be able to say, “Christ is my friend,” is one of the sweetest things in the world! A man who had lived much in sin, one day casually entered a place of worship. Before the sermon, this hymn was sung—

“Jesus, lover of my soul.”

The next day the man was met by an acquaintance who asked him how he liked the sermon. He said, “I do not know, but there were two or three words that took such a hold of me that I did not know what to do with myself. The minister read that hymn, ‘Jesus, lover of my soul.’ Ah,” he said, though he was by no means a religious man—“to be able to say that, I would give up all I have! But do you think,” he asked, “that Jesus ever will be the lover of such a man as I am? ‘Jesus, lover of my soul!’ Oh, could I say it?” And then he buried his head in his hands and wept.

I have every reason to fear that he went back to his sin and was the same afterwards as before. But you see, he had a conscience enough to let him know how valuable it was to have Christ for his love and his friend. Ah, rich man, you have many friends! There are some here who have learned the faithlessness of friends. Oh, put no confidence, you great men and you rich, in the adherence of your friends! David said in his haste, “All men are liars.” You may one day have to say it at your leisure! And oh, you kind and affectionate hearts who are not rich in wealth but who are rich in love—and that is the world’s best wealth—put this golden coin among your silver ones and it will sanctify them all! Get Christ’s love shed abroad in your hearts and your mother’s love, your daughter’s love, your husband’s love, your wife’s love will become sweeter than ever! The love of Christ casts not out the love of relatives, but it sanctifies our loves and makes them far sweeter!

Remember, dear hearer, the love of men and women is very sweet, but all must pass away and what will you do if you have no wealth but the wealth that fades and no love but the love which dies, when death shall come? Oh, to have the love of Christ! You can take that across the river death with you! You can wear it as your bracelet in heaven and set it up as a seal upon your hand, for His love is “strong as death and mightier than the grave.”

Good old Bishop Beveridge, I think it was, when dying, did not know his best friends. Said one, “Bishop Beveridge, do you know me?” Said he, “Who are you?” And when the name was mentioned, he said, “No.” “But don’t you know your wife, Bishop?” “What is her name?” he said. She said, “I am your wife.” “I did not know I had one,” said he.

Poor old man! His faculties all failed him! At last someone stooped down and whispered,

“Do you know the Lord Jesus Christ?”

“Yes,” he said, making an effort to speak, “I have known Him these 40 years, and I never can forget Him.”

It is marvelous how memory will hold the place with Jesus, when it will with no one else! And it is equally marvelous that—

“When all created streams are dry, Christ’s fullness is the same.”

My dear hearers, do think about this matter. Oh, that you might get Christ for your friend! He will never be your friend while you are self-righteous. He will never be your friend while you live in sin. But do you believe yourselves guilty? Do you desire to leave off sin? Do you want to be saved? Do you desire to be renewed? Then let me tell you, my Master loves you! Poor, weak and helpless worms, my Master’s heart is full of love for you! His eyes at this moment are looking down with pity on you! “Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, Jerusalem!” He now bids me tell you that He died for all of you who confess yourselves to be sinners and feel it. He bids me say to you, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved.” He tells me to proclaim salvation full and free—full, needing nothing of yours to help it. Free, needing nothing of yours to buy it—

“Come, you thirsty, come and welcome! God’s free bounty glorify— True belief and true repentance Every grace that brings us near — Without money Come to Jesus Christ and buy.”

There is nothing I feel that I fail so much in as addressing sinners. Oh, I wish I could cry my heart out and preach my heart out to you and at you!—

“Dear Savior, draw reluctant hearts! A 8 8 To you let sinners fly And take the bliss Your love imparts— And drink and never die!”

Farewell, with this one thought—we shall never, all of us, meet together here again. It is a very solemn thought but according to the course of nature and the number of deaths, if all of you were willing to come here next Sabbath morning, it is not at all likely that all of you would be alive! One out of this congregation will be sure to have gone the way of all flesh. Farewell, you that are appointed to death, I know not who you are—yonder strong man, or yonder tender maiden with the hectic flush of consumption on her cheek. I know not who is appointed to death. But I do now most solemnly take my farewell of such a one. Farewell poor soul—and is it farewell forever? Shall we meet in the land of the hereafter, in the home of the blessed, or do I now bid you farewell forever? I do solemnly bid farewell to you forever if you live and die without Christ. But I cannot bear that dreary thought! And I therefore say, poor sinner, stop and consider! Consider your ways and now—“turn you, turn you, why will you die?” “Why will you die?” “Why will you die?” “Why will you die?” Ah, you cannot answer that question! May God help you to answer it in a better fashion, by saying—

“Here, Lord! Just as I am, without one plea But that Your blood was shed for me, O Son of God, I come to Thee!”

The Lord bless you all for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Charles Spurgeon