Counsel Hotline

A counseling center hotline used the following voice mail message: “Thank you for calling. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, remember that we know who you are. Even while you have been holding, we have been tracing this call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it really doesn’t matter which number you press. No one is going to answer anyway. Have a good day.”