Modesty

I must encourage you to learn what God wants in the matter of modesty and don’t take anything in this message as an attack on you.  This will help you to have a better standing before the Lord.  We desperately need that.  Prepare your hearts, no one is shooting at you

The most powerful scripture I know of on the subject of modesty is Romans 13:8-10.

 

This striking passage hits at the very heart of grace. The spirit of grace is not my life, my will, but the spirit of grace is that Christ came to lay down his life for others.  That is the spirit of the New Testament.  The spirit of Jesus Christ  This is a matter of love.  It is a matter of loving someone as yourself.

 

The foundation of the need for modesty is love.  God is love.  This is an outward manifestation of your concern with your neighbor.  Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.  What can work ill to a neighbour?  We might immediately think of physical pain, or taking from them what belongs to them, or using tongues as arrows to shoot bitter words.  But there is more.  There is putting something in front of a person to make them want it when it is unlawful for them to have it.

 

Now let’s go to the most explicit passage on this  subject.  1 Thessalonians 4:1-9.  There are some key words in this passage that I will bring to your attention.  I think this is the most important, most direct, and most powerful passage, after the foundation of love is laid.  Read it carefully.

 

Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit. But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

 

In looking over this passage, do you see how modesty ties in with love?  This passage is talking about immorality.  Paul is giving instruction to the sanctification of the church.  The church at Thessalonica is the specific church.  This message is pertinent to Christians, not to the lost.  It is written to brethren. 

 

Paul established the importance of this message when he begged, as on his knee and when he spoke of his desire for them to abound more and more.  He said as much, “I am going to give you instructions on how you ought to live, in order that you might be more fruitful.”  The importance of modesty is also recognized by this being called the will of God.  That is precise.  Not everything is the will of God, but we know this is, as it uses those very words.  It is the will of God, even your sanctification.  Sanctification is holiness.  This sets you apart, makes you different, helps make you a peculiar people. 

 

What is specifically the will of God?  It is the will of God that ye should abstain from fornication.  This is a big word in the New Testament.  The word is dealing with some type of sexual activities that are illicit or illegal.  It comes from the word porneia, which is where the our word pornography comes from.  Let me turn aside a bit to open your eyes to something.  Do you realize what pornography used to be, before there was capability to produce pictures in quantity?  This pornography is readily available in many major stores.  You would feel violated if you saw pornographic pictures in plain view, right near the candy, wouldn’t you?  But there is pornography sitting openly on the shelves that will do more damage to minds and souls than looking one time at a nude picture.  It is very popular today and is generally accepted, even among Christians.  Before our modern capability to mass produce pictures, what was pornography?  It was obscene literature.  We have progressed in liberality today enough to object to obscene pictures as pornography and yet to accept obscene literature.  Do you believe that?  The places where you go shopping carry this literature.  I am not speaking in the terms of magazines, but in the form of what we now call romances.  That is what porn meant when it was first given.  That which is written obscene or illicit. 

 

Our passage desires you to know how to possess your vessel in sanctification and honour.  What is this vessel?  There are three basic meanings for that word. 

 

·First, this vessel is your own body.  You should know how to possess your own body as a whole, your physique, your being.  God has called us to holiness.  How do you possess your body?  Your actions, your attitudes, the way you carry yourself? 

 

·   Second, it means your intimate parts. 

 

·  Third, the meaning is directed to the man of the home as to how he should possess his wife in sanctification and honor.  

 

These three areas could apply in this verse.  Does it hurt the passage to take all three meanings?  We can say it means my body, my intimate private parts, my wife.  (And conversely a woman’s husband.)

 

These verses tell us to possess our vessel, not in the lust of concupiscence.  Such a word!  Look carefully at it.  Do you see the little word cupid within it?  The word cupid and this word share the same root.  That might help you to remember that this word means lust.  It is the unlawful or irregular desire of sexual pleasure. In a more general sense, it means the coveting of carnal things, or an irregular appetite for worldly good, as well as inclination for unlawful enjoyments.  Notice it does not include the lawful desire for these things, but the unlawful.  This brings us back to the putting forth of something desirable before someone, although it is not lawful for them to have it.  This all works together with modesty.

 

There is an example given here, an example that was well known in that day.  A people that worked concupiscence regularly.  Who were these people?  It was the Gentiles that know not God.  What was so striking about these Gentiles?  They had given themselves to sensual satisfaction.  God has ordained that the intimate life have a very special place in life, when done in the right way.  He has set that it happen in the context of marriage.  Anything outside of that is violation and unlawful.  Anything that even promotes intimacies outside of marriage is a violation to the God in heaven.  The Gentiles had violated it in every shape and form. We can even see today Greek influence in famous statues and works done in the Greek style on buildings of prominence in America.  The Greeks magnified the body form, curves, physique and all.  Clothes are missing, or partly dropped.  Modesty is not reckoned with because of idolatry of the body.  This example is set before us as one not to follow. 

 

The passage flows smoothly and without break to the next statement.  We are not to go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter.  Any matter.  That is a broad sweep and includes much.  But, what area is the passage dealing primarily with?  It is dealing with immorality.  The Gentiles accent the illicit body pleasures.  On the other hand, how did God deal with nakedness?  In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and were not ashamed.  When the fall came, their eyes were opened and they knew they were naked.  God made them something to cover them.  What was it?   A mink stole to keep their shoulders warm?  An Eisenhower jacket?  A miniskirt?  A half skirt with one sling going over the shoulder for support, as pictures often portray?  No, He made them both coats of skins.  Coats.  Run as fast as you can to Revelation 6:11, and there you will find God clothed His saints with robes.  Think of these two words, and what they would mean.  Coats and robes cover.    Of all our words for clothing, these convey the most modest, covering attire

 

We have seen that no man should defraud.  But, what does the word defraud mean?  It means to take from someone that which is rightfully his, or to wrongfully withhold from someone what is rightfully his.  It means to prevent someone from obtaining something that is rightfully his. And finally, it is to defeat and frustrate wrongfully.  We understand the first more than the last.  And not being popularly understood, this may be violated the most.  We frustrate when we create a desire that we cannot lawfully fulfill.  When a man or a woman dresses immodestly, revealing physique or flesh, private areas or flesh ordinarily covered by coats and robes, or giving peep shows of these areas, much frustration can develop in others around. 

 

Now, remember that the word vessel can mean your body, intimate parts, or your mate.  There are principles of modesty for a man as well as for a woman.  He needs to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour.  A man can defraud a woman with his clothing.  His clothes should not accent his physique.  A man’s clothes should be loose and should cover his body. Tight jeans and more than one button on a shirt unbuttoned are sensual.  Don’t take my word for it, the world says as much.  I know a secular book that advises the young man to undo two buttons in certain settings, such as for setting a sensual atmosphere during a date.  I admit, men often feel exempt from modest dressing.  As a teenager, I did what everyone else did.  I had no other instruction.  I wore mesh shirts, sleeveless shirts, and shorts.  But when I heard about modesty for the man, and how the body was sacred, it spoke to my heart.  I made changes, and have continued to do so as my understanding opens further.

 

The world understands more than the Christian understands.   Girls that have been saved out of the night life know how they dressed for attention.  Sometimes we Christians have no idea.  I heard of a pastor in California who bought sunglasses for all his girls, took them to the mall, and gave them a pad of paper to write down what guys looked at, how they looked back as girls passed them, and how their eyes went up and down the body.  It was a real education for them!

 

But even more importantly is the modesty of the woman.  The basis for that statement is that while she is motivated by sight, it is words that can defraud and frustrate her to a greater degree.  But the man needs no words, his sight is enough to frustrate him to distraction.  The woman should possess her vessel in sanctification and honor.  She should adequately cover her curves, her flesh, and her private areas.  Curves are for the husband.  All the curves.  So when the curves are accentuated or exposed in normal activities, and are being exposed to someone who is not the husband, that can and will defraud.  For example, it matters not the type of blouse a girl may wear, as long as it does not expose any curves, from any direction.  From the side, back, front, or above.  Her clothing should not reveal private flesh, either entirely, or fleetingly with certain movements, in lacey holes, designed slits, or vaguely with thin cloth.   Darts and designs in the pattern or the material should not point to or draw attention to private areas.  A man’s mind does not need encouragement for his imagination.

 

God made two people.  When he made man, he put in him natural, normal, and even healthy desires.  He made the wife to meet those needs.  And the desires of the woman were meant to be fulfilled in the husband.  But unfortunately, they have a hard time understanding each other.  The best thing a man can do is to explain to his wife how he feels.  A woman enjoys communication.  A man should explain to her how he ticks. 

 

Every good woman that I know rises the occasion, because they have no desire to hurt someone else.  Love is concerned about the other party, it looks to help the other person along the way. We do not want to set a stumbling stone in front of another brother, right?  On the other hand, those who live unto themselves, with no love for others, falter here.  A man with defrauding dress excuses his actions by saying that he has the right to dress as he pleases, show his muscles, or to dress casually .    A woman with defrauding clothing might accuse the man of a dirty mind, lack of character, or lack of control.  Both men and women excuse undressing for swimming on safety, convenience, and temperature issues. 

 

Girls, there are wicked men out there.  Men who want to conquer you, and move on.  We want to protect you from that type of evil, wicked men.  You do not want to create desires or bring undue attention to yourself.  You have no idea what kind of pressures your clothing can put on a man.  In 1967 rape increased up to 400% in just one year.  What happened that year?  Women put on the miniskirt.  But now that we live in 2009, have we overcome?  What do you think?  I don’t think so.  Men will always have great attraction to certain parts of the female.  If you don’t know what they are, read Proverbs 5, 7 and the Song of Solomon to find out.  These parts are to be saved for the husband.  A woman who dresses with modesty will be honored by men who want to keep themselves pure.

 

Modesty is a very important principle for both male and female.  Clothing should draw attention to the face.   Most modern clothing draws attention to the body using design lines, accent lines, buttons, pockets, and material type.   Designers know focal points.  Watch for the pattern of your dress.  Designers draw lines on clothes to draw attention to certain intimate parts.  They use waistlines that drop or point, gathers and draping that accentuate, and darts to direct.  They know what they are doing. It is not an act of love to wear these types of clothing that accent curves.  It may be ignorance, but once you know, it is an act of selfishness. 

 

Even your shoes can be modest or immodest.  Let me draw your attention to high heel shoes.  They are made for a reason.  I get in trouble when I talk about them.  They are so impractical, you might as well be tight-rope walkers.  They were invented for men, not for women.  Paul Harvey tells of a princess who was very short and was to make a coronation walk.  They made special shoes for her that made her taller.  To the surprise of everyone, every man’s eye was taken by this young princess as she walked down the corridor.  The muscles those high heels reveal!  Stilettos are used by night walkers.  They are designed for man’s interest. 

 

Men, you think you can attract a woman by showing your muscles and blood veins popping out, and such like.  You may not work at all, but you work out to develop those muscles.  Show them what you are made of by going out and chopping a bunch of wood.  Go mow the grass.  Don’t be a muscle man, work from morning till night.  Show you can finish a job you begin.