Not Used to Gifts

Mike listened to a lecture on the importance of showing appreciation to the important people in his life. Mike decided to start with his wife, so after work that night, he went to the shopping mall where he bought a dozen long-stemmed roses, a box of chocolates, and a pair of earrings. He smiled with self-satisfaction as he contemplated surprising his wife and showing her how much he appreciated her.

He stood at the front door with the roses in his right hand, the brightly wrapped box of candy under his arm, an open jewelry box displaying the earrings in his left hand. With an elbow he rang the doorbell. His wife came to the door, opened it, and stared at him for a long minute. Suddenly she burst into tears. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” asked the bewildered husband.

“It’s been the worst day of my life,” she answered. “First, Johnny tried to flush his diaper down the toilet. Then Kevin melted his plastic airplane in the oven. Then the dishwasher clogged and overflowed all over the kitchen floor. Then Jessica came home from school with a note from the teacher saying that she beat up a boy in her class. And now you came home drunk!”