Ways to Irritate People
1. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
2. Speak only in a “robot” voice.
3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”
4. Name your dog “Dog.”
5. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”
6. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
8. Finish all your sentences with the words, “In accordance with the prophesy.”
9. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
10. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
11. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?”
“What?”
“Never mind, its gone now.”
12. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
13. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.