THINKING AND TURNING – Charles Spurgeon
THINKING AND TURNING
“I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies” Psalm 119:59.
Almost every phase of spiritual life is depicted in the Psalms, but we shall not always find in them the interpretation of those deep exercises of soul with which the believer grows familiar. We must look to the New Testament for full discourses upon the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, upon the conflicting forces of Divine Grace, depraved nature, and for the other causes which produce the mysterious experience of the Christian. In the Old Testament, we get the facts; in the New Testament, we find the explanation of the facts. The statement of David, which is now before us, doubtless sets forth the experience of many here present in this assembly—“I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies.” The Spirit’s operation in the heart is apt to produce thoughtfulness, and through thoughtfulness to effect conversion in the sinner. In the case of the believer, a restoration to the joy of salvation comes of like salutary reflections upon the negligence of one’s life. Repentance originates in thinking upon our ways; it proceeds to compare them with God’s precepts, and faith prompts us to revert to the way of God’s testimonies. I understand our text to be a brief but complete account of the conversion of the sinner, and of the restoration of the backslidden child of God. I hope that many of us, looking back to the time of our conversion, can use the words as our own, and oh, how many times since, if we have, in any measure or degree, departed from our right state with regard to our heavenly Father, have we had occasion to resort to the means suggested here—“I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies”?
The case stands thus. We are going on in the profession of a Christian life with little or no soul trouble. Temporal things are easy with us. By degrees, we become unwatchful, and the world steals into our hearts till the love of it creeps over us. We still pursue the even tenor of our way, unconscious of the dangers that threaten us, or the condition to which we have gradually descended. By-and-by, discoveries startle us; we find ourselves unfit for the fellowship we once enjoyed; we lose our power in prayer; the duty which once was pleasant becomes irksome. All the symptoms point to serious derangement and this pulls us straight up. We look about us. We ask in sad perplexity—“Where am I? How did I get here? Am I a child of God? How, then, can I have lost my former strength and happiness?” Thus we begin to deliberate; we survey our course during the last few months, and we soon detect many sorrowful omissions of duty, and, perhaps, even commissions of sin, till the grace of God which is in us prompts us to seek the shortest way back to our right position! We have wandered into By-Path Meadow, and at the sight of Giant Despair’s castle, we endeavor to retrace our steps. The mariner has been gaily sailing on a smooth sea, and he has given no heed to his bearings; all of a sudden, he sees a rock ahead—from this he ought to have been far away—at that sight he shortens sail, looks about him, and in consequence of what he sees, changes his course, sets a better watch, and is restless until once more he reaches the old familiar channel. Fellow voyager on the sea of life, may not this be your case or mine? It is very likely that at this moment some of us, if enabled by God’s Spirit to think upon our ways, may be led to pause and ponder our bearings. Thus, by God’s infinite mercy, our course in life may be changed, and our character may be altered for the better, so we may once more return to our rest. I pray that if we have never known the Savior at all, we may become His disciples today. Perhaps a single solemn thought lodged in your breast shall become the means of your conversion. God grant it may be so! This very day, may some have to say, “At that time I thought about my ways, and I turned my feet to God’s testimonies.”
Two things will engage our attention this morning—a consideration and a consequence. The first is right thinking and the next is right turning. “I thought,” and “I turned.” The two things go together.
I. RIGHT THINKING
“I thought about my ways.” That this thought upon his ways caused him dissatisfaction is evident, or otherwise he would not have turned. If, in reviewing my ways, I find that they are all as God would have them, let me “go on.” It may be well, in such a case, to quicken one’s pace! Certainly, it would be unwise to turn; so, then, it is clear that the right thinking of the text is a thinking which suggests dissatisfaction.
Let your own reflections flow just now, I pray you, in this channel. Think of the days of your youth, of the time before you were born unto God; or, if you are not converted, consider your whole life! You are God’s creature, and yet you have rendered to Him no obedience! You would not keep a horse or a dog that did not do you some service, or follow at your whistle; but God has made you and kept you alive, and yet, up to now, He has not been in all, or perhaps, in any of your thoughts! You have been an unprofitable servant; you are like a fruitless tree planted in good soil. Is this as it should be? Do you feel any comfort in such a retrospect? I am sure, if you ponder it fairly, and judge righteous judgment, you will be very disappointed. Must you not say to yourself, “This will not do”?
If you are converted, in looking back upon your unconverted days, you will say, “Of all this I am now ashamed! What fruit did I have of those pursuits in which I served myself, sought my own pleasures, reveled in my lusts, and made my belly my god—living for the world instead of loving my Creator and Benefactor? Consider your ways, O you who have never yet sought forgiveness! I pray to God that you might come to yourselves, and so track the course of your sins; that the tear of penitence might be distilled from your heart, and begin to wet your eyes! Were it so, I know that before long you would say, “I will arise and go to my Father, and I will say unto Him, Father, I have sinned.”
An unconverted state is an unhappy state; an unforgiven sinner is in constant peril. Even if the unsaved one should obtain the greatest success in business, the largest accumulation of wealth, the highest honors of fame, and the loftiest degree of rank, he would remain a pitiable object because unblessed of God! Such a soul in wretched unquietness walks through dry places seeking rest and finding none! Till it comes home to its God, peace and prosperity it cannot know. May God in His infinite mercy lead unconverted men to review their ways and forsake them!
But, my Brothers and Sisters, even if we think upon our ways since our new birth, we have little cause to be content with them. Think of the best things you have ever done. Does the flush of self-congratulation color your cheek? So far as I am concerned, far from me is every thought of glorying in anything which I have done for my Lord; upon no sermon I have ever preached, though God knows I have preached my very soul out, am I able to look back without a measure of shame and confusion! I know I have preached the Gospel, but the manner of my preaching does not satisfy me; I would gladly wash every discourse in the tears of repentance, for in each one there are faults and failures that betray the weakness of a man, the infirmity of a creature, and the unprofitableness of a servant! No deed of charity or act of devotion that I ever performed can I look back upon with unmixed feelings. I wish that my best had been a thousand times better, and had not been so sadly spoiled, as it often has been by unbelief at the outset, or pride at the end, or by flagging zeal in the middle.
This confession is no insincere regret or a spurious attempt to appear humble—I mean what I say and I believe that in the like confession the most devout of men would most heartily concur. The sins of our holy things—how grievous they are! It is only because our consciences are so blind that we do not shudder at the sight of them! Do you ever think you have done well? In that very thinking, you have done ill. When I hear any of my Brethren talk of being perfect, I wonder what they mean! Do they use the English language? Do they know themselves or their God? In perfect ignorance they surely must be held captive! As to their own nature and its workings, they can have no knowledge, or else such boastful expressions could not come from their lips. Brothers and Sisters, the saints are still sinners! Our best tears need to be wept over; the strongest faith is mixed with unbelief; our most flaming love is cold and chill compared with what Jesus deserves, and our most intense zeal still lacks the full fervor which the bleeding wounds and pierced heart of the Crucified might claim at our hands! Our best things need a sin offering, or they would condemn us!
As for our worst things—come, think of them! Remember your failures, your transgressions, and your provocations. Blush as you recall the times when the curb has been taken from your temper and anger has flashed forth in flames of fire though you had hoped that all your passions had been subdued! Remember those times of levity, when, free from all restraints, your tongue has not spoken to edification or even within the bounds of propriety? Can we bear to think of hours when we have been tempted by avarice to withhold that which we ought to have given, or when we have given out of the pride which we fondly thought had died out of our blood-washed hearts?
Have you not felt sluggish in the Lord’s work? Have you not, like Jonah, in your peevishness and irritability been ready to flee from His face and forsake His calling? Have there not been seasons when you have gone into your chamber and shut the door, and wept because of your folly—and half wished never to rise from your knees again? Have you not said, “Ah me, that ever I should be such a brute beast as this”? Truly had you not been proud and self-conceited, you would not have been surprised to find yourself so like a beast, as indeed you are!
Do you recoil at my language and account it far too harsh? I am using Scriptural language, David’s own words are—“So foolish was I, and ignorant, I was as a beast before You; nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand.” What a strange medley are we of the diabolical and the Divine, the sinful and the heavenly—so sadly wedded to the Earth—and yet so gloriously born from Heaven! If you look at your worst side, I am sure, Beloved, you will abhor yourself and lie in the very dust before the Lord. You will not doubt the cleansing power of Jesus’ blood, but you will be filled with holy wonder that it should have availed to cleanse such sins as yours! Come, my Brothers and Sisters, bow yourself in self-abasement; follow in this examination, and take stock of your ways since you have known the Lord. How have you behaved yourself in your poverty? Did your heart repine? Were you envious of the foolish? Did it seem to you that God’s providence was harsh while your lot was hard?
II. RIGHT TURNING
The turning of the text is also a practical one. “I turned my feet to Your testimonies.” There is a spurious conversion which is not true conversion to God. A man may have another heart, and yet he may not have a new heart. We read of King Saul that he had another heart, but he remained unsaved. A man may change his idols; he may change his sins, but may not be changed in heart. Drunks have become sober and renounced their intoxicating cups, which is, so far, so good, but they have presently become intoxicated with a conceit of their own virtue and extolled themselves as models of purity! Ah, then it is a poor gain to change drunkenness for self-righteousness! Both sins are deadly; a man may as easily go to Hell by trusting in himself as by resigning himself to a besetting vice. Hell has many gates, though Heaven has but one.
We must experience the change, which is according to the Word of God, and so the text says, “I turned my feet to Your testimonies,” that is, to believe what God has revealed, to accept what God presents, to do what God commands, and to be what God would have us to be. May God give us to experience within and to manifest without such a radical turn as that! The truth of God I want to bring out most prominently is this—the turning was immediate. “I thought about my ways”—well, what then?—“I turned my feet,” directly, immediately. And can this be so? Can the Ethiopian change his skin and the leopard his spots? Can the sinner immediately be made a saint? Can the saint who has backslidden be at once restored?
The actual point of the conversion is instantaneous! I am walking through the woods, and I am going the wrong direction. Well, I pause and look about, but whenever I actually turn to go the correct way, there is a critical moment when I turn, is there not? It may be that I take some time to consider, and look about me—but when I do actually go back, there is a particular moment when I turn and take the first step! I desire that this present moment may be the instant of conversion to each one of you who are dead in sin. You have been thinking of your ways—now may you turn your feet to His testimonies!
This must be the work of Divine grace; the Omnipotent Power of God must turn you to Himself. This leads me to observe that it must be by faith because a man cannot be altogether changed in a moment by works. If works had a changing power—which they have not, since the fruit cannot change the root, and no number of bushels of figs could turn a nettle into a fig tree—the man must have time to do the works, whereas time is not an element here. It is “I thought,” and “I turned,” and, therefore, it must be by faith!
Many a sinner has been, for years, desiring a change which he would find in one moment if he did but believe in Jesus; he has been praying, reading, repenting, and I do not know what besides, trying to find salvation—whereas the Savior has found it for him! Let him but look to Jesus, and simply trust in Him—he will be saved in a moment! He will be a renewed man, and he will be able to say, in the language of the text—“I thought about my ways and turned to Your testimonies.”
I would drive home this point, but my time fails me. May God the Eternal Spirit bring many to God’s testimonies at this very moment!
Charles Spurgeon