Abigail - Glenn Conjurske
Abigail
by Glenn Conjurske
Abigail is one of the most eminent and beautiful female examples in the Bible of faith, of meekness, of humility, and of spirituality. All these things shine in her every word, and in her whole carriage and deportment. What an anomaly, then, to find such a woman as this married to a churlish, headstrong, drunken fool. Evidently she had been fool enough herself, once upon a time, or she would never have married such a man as this. But Abigail’s folly was of an entirely different sort from that of her husband. Abigail’s was the folly of ignorance, while Nabal’s was the folly of wickedness. Nabal’s folly was his crime. The folly of Abigail was her misfortune. While Nabal’s folly inflicted suffering upon all around him, the folly of Abigail injured only herself. Nabal’s folly was incurable. Abigail was no doubt cured of hers very shortly after her wedding day.
Alas, the cure came too late, for marriage is “till death do us part.” What solemn words are these! “Till death do us part”! How they ought to expel every grain of carelessness from the spirit of every girl especially, for marriage is a much greater step for a woman than it is for a man. The woman must submit. The woman must follow. And what a life of sorrow and tears will be hers if she must submit to a fool. What a life of grief a bright and intelligent woman will have if she must submit to a dull blockhead. What a life of tears and trials will be the lot of a spiritual woman, if she must follow an unspiritual man. What a life of conflict will a heavenly-minded woman have, if she must submit to a worldly-minded husband. What a life of insecurity will a woman have if she must follow a rash, impatient, and unstable husband.
And yet such marriages as these are common everywhere. The church of God is full of them. A spiritually minded woman once told me, “If I had known what spirituality was, I never would have married my husband” —-and yet this husband was a preacher, engaged in the work of the Lord. And there are doubtless a myriad of women who are forced to think such things, who would never say them. Let every young lady who contemplates marriage meditate long and hard on the folly of Abigail, and on the years of hopeless anguish of soul which her marriage gave to her. All the dreams of bliss with which she entered into her marriage evaporated when once she tasted the bitter reality, and now those dreams could only return to torment her.
We may be sure that Abigail never intended such a marriage as this. No woman does. They all look for unmixed happiness in their marriage, but a myriad of them find little else but grief. How is this? How is it that so many find the direct opposite of what they seek in a husband?
There are many things which make bad marriages. The failure to find love doubtless accounts for many, but the lack of character accounts for many more. Abigail’s plight was due to the evil character of her husband. What could love avail, when her husband was “such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him”? How could love survive in the house of such a man?
And how is it that Abigail came to marry such a man? Doubtless she paid too little heed to the man’s character. Love was all her thought, and if she could but secure love, happiness would follow of course. This is the common thought of those girls who have never tasted of the bitter cup of which Abigail must drink. A pleasing young man begins to pay attention to such a girl, and her heart is swept away. Reason and caution are but little regarded, while such pleasing emotion reigns. He regales her heart with romantic thrills. He makes her feel beautiful—-desired—-loved. No harm in any of that, provided it comes from a man who is fit to be her husband. But the unfit know “the way of a man with a maid” as well as the fit. This belongs to nature. The ungodly can love a woman as well as the godly. The unspiritual can love a woman as well as the spiritual. Even blockheads know how to tell a woman she is beautiful. And the heart of a woman is naturally taken by all of this—-perhaps irresistibly taken. Still, her heart may be taken, and her hand withheld, as it surely ought to be if the man is for any reason unfit to be her head.
But it may be that Nabal’s character did not appear till after he was married. He may not have been a drunken churl when Abigail married him, but may have become so afterwards. Such cases are common. A woman ought therefore to exercise the most extreme caution to marry a man whose character is not only known and acceptable, but tried and confirmed and stable. A rash and unstable man is perhaps a heavier cross to the heart of a woman than a wicked one.
But it is the young lady’s folly to pay too little attention to the man’s character, and she may have little capacity to judge of the matter. If her romantic emotions are warmed towards him, she may have no ability at all. An old proverb truly says, “If Jack’s in love, he’s no judge of Jill’s beauty.” Little harm in that, for if she is beautiful to him, what matters more? But if Jill is in love, she is no judge of Jack’s character, and this is a very serious matter. Her husband’s character is of extreme importance to every wife. He is her head. He leads, and she must follow. He determines, and she must submit. This being so, it is as heart-breaking as it is common to see young women sacrifice themselves to men who are unworthy of their confidence. Thus did Abigail, for whatever she may have been at the time of her marriage, it is certain that such a son of Belial as Nabal was unworthy of the confidence of any woman. Abigail made the mistake of her life in marrying such a man, and the same mistake is made every day, and often by girls as godly and spiritual as Abigail.
But is there no remedy? If there is a God, there must be a remedy, for who could believe that God designed marriage to be nothing but woe? Let the young ladies, here if anywhere, lean not unto their own understanding. They are inexperienced. They know but little of what a man’s character ought to be, and have little ability to judge of what it is. But “In the multitude of counsellors there is safety.” (Prov. 11:14). Let them inquire diligently of pastors and elders and parents—-of sisters and brothers and friends—-and especially of married women, many of whom can doubtless tell them what to look for in the character of a man, and how to judge of his fitness. A man is not likely to give such pertinent counsel here as a woman. I have heard of a man who is proud, belligerent, and insolent telling a young lady, “You need a man like me”! His wife could probably have told her otherwise, if she had been willing to speak on the subject. Many women are not, however, and therefore the young ladies will do well to consult “a multitude of counsellors.”
The proud, the rash, the unstable, the belligerent, the harsh and exacting—-these are unfit to be a head to a woman at all, and yet to such men as these the tender and delicate members of the weaker sex sacrifice themselves every day of the year, for lack of the extreme carefulness with which they ought to marry. Such was the misfortune of Abigail, and a very great misfortune it was for such a woman to be married to such a man.
But we do not suppose that Abigail was always the deep and spiritual woman that she was when she went to meet David. Certainly she was not born so. She was made so, by the hand and the rod of God, and it may very well be that her marriage contributed more than anything else to make her what she was. It is in the school of afflictions that we gain depth and spirituality, and what greater affliction can a woman endure than to be married to such a man as Nabal? Nabal himself, then—-no thanks to him—-may have contributed more than anything else to fashion the beautiful spirituality which we see in his wife. Abigail’s marriage, hard as it was to tender feminine nature, was undoubtedly a great benefit to her spirit—-but oh! this was a bitter school.
When the Lord, however, has thus used him for the hard but wholesome discipline of the beautiful soul of Abigail, the merciful God takes him away with a stroke, and sets her free from that galling yoke.
Meanwhile she suffers on. She must be a help to a man she cannot respect. She must submit to a man she cannot trust. What daily conflicts this must thrust into her disquieted soul. She has none of the calm, none of the rest, none of the peace, none of the security which every woman hopes to find in her marriage—-only conflict and disagreement and strife. What she loves, her husband hates. What she hates, her husband loves. What she is committed to, her husband despises. The things of God are all to her, and nothing to him.
And as with the things of God, so with the man of God. David is despised by Nabal, while he is loved and trusted by Abigail. The name of David cannot be mentioned in the house of Nabal without provoking strife. Whom Abigail honors, Nabal treats with contempt. Her reverence for David no doubt provokes the disdain of Nabal, and she doubtless hears many reproaches for it.
My readers may suppose that I assume too much here, but I think not. The speech of Abigail to David teaches us that she was thoroughly familiar with all his concerns, and Nabal could hardly have been otherwise. Did David slay the giant with a sling and stone, and deliver the armies of Israel, and Nabal know nothing of it? Was David sung by the maidens of Israel for slaying his ten thousands, while Saul slew but his thousands, and Nabal know nothing of that? Did David espouse the king’s daughter for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, and Nabal never hear of it? Nabal doubtless knew very well who and what David was.
Abigail’s speech indicates not only the most thorough knowledge of all the affairs of David, but very strong feelings on the subject also. Nabal doubtless had the same sort of knowledge, and surely had some feelings also, but they were always the direct opposite of his wife’s. A man can hardly be indifferent upon a theme concerning which his wife feels so deeply on the opposite side. It is hard for an unworthy man to see a worthy man admired by his wife—-for in the depth of his soul he must feel that the worthy man deserves his wife’s admiration—-and Abigail’s reverence for David would naturally be taken as a personal affront by Nabal. The more she reverenced David, the more her husband despised him, and we suppose the name of David was always the signal for an argument in the house of Nabal.
When David therefore sends his messengers to Nabal, in the day of Nabal’s plenty, with a request for a share in the bounty, Nabal answers with the utmost contempt. He was greeted in the name of David—-a name which all Israel knew—-and he responds with “Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? There be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?” He speaks as though he knows nothing of who or what David is, but this is not the language of sincere ignorance, but of contempt. Abigail knew all the affairs of David, and Nabal must certainly have known them also, and it may have been his wife’s well known admiration for David which moved Nabal thus to treat him with contempt, as soon as the opportunity offered.
David was fighting the battles of the Lord, and doubtless supposed himself entitled to the support of the Israelites. Not only so, but he had been a wall of defence to Nabal also, and might therefore present a double claim to him. Nabal views the matter otherwise. This is “my bread,” and “my water,” and “my flesh,” and what right has David to any of it?
David falls prey to a fault not uncommon to the servants of the Lord. To begin with, he supposes that the battles of the Lord and the battles of David are one and the same. This may in fact be true, or very near the truth. When the people of Israel reject Samuel, the Lord says, “They have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.” When Aaron and Miriam slight Moses, they slight the God who sent him, and Miriam is made to feel the displeasure of the Lord for this, while Aaron is made to see and understand it. Those who slight the man of God have a quarrel with the God who sent him. Nevertheless, it is not becoming for a man of God to fight his own battles. “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord: I will repay.” The man of God may defend himself, he may vindicate himself, as David did when he held the skirt of Saul’s robe in his hand, but to avenge himself is another matter. If David had avenged himself upon Saul, the whole argument by which he vindicated himself would have been lost. But he who yesterday had cut off the skirt of Saul’s robe and spared his life, and whose heart smote him even for that, today, for a far lesser offence, says, “Gird ye on every man his sword,” and “So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain unto him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.” This speech of David may indicate something of the reason why God reserves vengeance to himself. However righteous the vengeance may be, man—-even the man after God’s own heart—-is unfit for such a work. “Most are blind in their own cause,” an old proverb tells us, and this is too true. He that is judge in his own cause is likely to be partial. Moreover, passion is likely to predominate over reason. Who can see all things clearly, who can exercise due restraint, when his indignation is inflamed? Nabal hath sinned, and therefore David will cut off from Nabal’s house every one that pisseth against the wall. What righteousness was there in this? This assumes that Nabal’s whole household was in sympathy with himself, but this was the opposite of the truth. Both his wife and his servants reprehend him as a man of Belial.
It soon comes to the ears of Abigail that “Evil is determined against our master, and against all his household.” “Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses. And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal.” All this she did not only without the knowledge of Nabal, but directly contrary to his known wishes. Nabal’s goods must go to David. Nabal’s asses must bear them. Nabal’s servants must conduct them. Nabal’s wife must accompany them. Nabal himself shall know nothing of the matter. So decrees Nabal’s wife, and so her decree is carried out with haste. Yet in all this we see no sin in Abigail. There are occasions when to serve God we must set ourselves against the wills of those who oppose him, though they be in authority over us, and in the case before her, to serve God she must serve the man of God. So Abigail perceives, and so she does.
She rides with haste, for there is little time to lose. Her meeting with David, and her deportment and speech on that occasion, are all so beautiful—-so full of faith and meekness and humility—-so full of spiritual wisdom and depth—-that I can do no less than quote the whole of it:
“And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid. Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send. Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal. And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord. I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel, that this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.”
The deportment of Abigail is as beautiful as her countenance. Though we see her on her face at the feet of David, yet morally she is far above him. His heart is full of personal indignation. Hers is full of faith. His mouth is full of fleshly imprecations. Hers is full of spiritual wisdom. His feet are swift to shed blood. Hers are swift to save life. He makes haste to sin. She makes haste to prevent sin.
We observe also the strong and unwavering faith of this woman. None of her sufferings and personal disappointments have robbed her of her faith. Though the hand of God has dealt a bitter portion to herself, yet her confidence in him is both bright and steadfast. ‘Tis true, she has no faith at all for Nabal. She has resigned his case as hopeless. For herself, however, she has faith. She yet expects the blessing of God, for she says to David, “When the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.” Whatever Abigail may have meant by this in particular, it is certain that in general she looked for some good thing to come.
But whatever her faith may have been for herself, it is her faith for David which shines as gold. “The LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house.” And again, “The soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling.” It is really a wonder that with such words as these in his ears, coming from the mouth of such a woman as this, that David could ever say, “I shall now perish one day by the hand of Saul.” But it is sometimes easier to have faith for others than for ourselves. Abigail has more faith for David than she has for herself, and more faith for David than David has for himself. That faith she speaks fully in the ears of David. Here is a great ministry of encouragement. If I have faith for another, I ought to employ that faith to the full, both in the ears of my friend, and in the ears of the Almighty. What encouragement the long tried and flickering faith of David must have found in the strong and unwavering faith of Abigail.
Not only is Abigail full of faith in God, but of faith in David also. She never doubts for a moment the success of her plea. Ere she is done speaking, and before David answers her a word, she says, “seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself.” This is the more remarkable, coming from a woman whose husband was “such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him.” She ventures not one word to Nabal, for she had no faith in him, and was certain her words would not be regarded, but she was just as sure that her pleas would succeed with David. Some women, when they have endured the afflictions of living with an unreasonable husband, lose faith in manhood as such, and will not trust a good man, because they cannot trust an evil one. They find a certain satisfaction, and perhaps use this as a kind of personal vengeance upon their husbands, to despise and distrust the whole race of men. Not so Abigail. She has the utmost confidence in David, though she has none at all in Nabal.
We must next observe the wisdom and power of Abigail’s speech. “Wiser speech,” says Alfred Edersheim, “in the highest as well as in a worldly sense, than that of Abigail can scarcely be imagined.” We quite agree, but it is not so much the wisdom of this speech which we admire, as the power. Wisdom may come cold and dry from some tongues, but not from the tongue of such a woman as Abigail. If as the proverb affirms, “The pen is mightier than the sword,” the tongue is mightier still. There is no power on earth like the human tongue, when it is moved by a pure and earnest spirit. When John Wesley was in the hands of a lawless mob, determined to murder him, he turned every one to whom he spoke into a friend. He spoke at length to the leader of the mob, who responded with, “Sir, I will spend my life for you.” Paper and ink are cold and dry, in comparison to the voice of the preacher, and no printed sermon can ever equal the living voice. Well, but David was a man of war, and so accustomed to settling matters by the might of arms that it never enters his mind to settle anything by words. He can think of nothing but “Gird ye on every man his sword.” Abigail had no sword but her tongue, and that she knew how to use. Her tongue was mightier than a sword, but it was far from speaking “like the piercings of a sword.” The tongue which cuts and pierces does not soften, but harden. Accusations provoke opposition, where gentleness and confidence soften the heart. The tongue of Abigail is as full of confidence in David as it is of meekness and humility towards herself. Not one word of reproach or of accusation does she level against David, though she found him in a passion of indignation, making haste to shed blood. Hers was the tongue of the wise, for “she was a woman of good understanding,” and “the tongue of the wise is health.” Hers was the “soft tongue,” which “breaketh the bone.” (Prov. 25:15).
How great is the power of this tongue of the wise! If ever human speech was irresistible, this speech of Abigail’s was so. What power of reason and of faith shines in all that she says. What confidence she displays in the man she comes to reprove. This was irresistible. She has the utmost confidence also in her own God-given powers, and knows full well that she will succeed. She meets David with the same bold confidence with which David met Goliath. And with what meekness does David submit to her speech. Though he was a roaring lion hasting to the prey when she began, he is as tame as a kitten when she is finished.
We observe next the power of a woman to soften the heart of a man. We suppose Abigail’s success was as much dependent upon what she was, as upon what she said. “She was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance.” Though some may refuse to admit this, and though others may not like it, it is a simple fact of life that a pleasing woman has power with a man that another man can scarcely have. The heart of a man is more easily touched by such a woman than by any man whatsoever. It is doubtful any man could have softened David so quickly and thoroughly as Abigail did. Neither indeed could a woman do it, who adopted a masculine tone, or acted in a masculine manner. An authoritative, pushing, domineering, scolding, commanding woman can only repel the heart of a man. But Abigail is far from this. She is all meekness, all humility, all femininity, and this gives her power and influence with a man.
This power which a woman holds in her hands is no doubt a dangerous thing, and ought to be used with great caution—-so much so that some have laid down the rule that in the things of God none ought to deal with any but their own sex. This may be wise in general, but we think the example and the success of Abigail condemn such a rule, and we think too that her use of the powers of her feminine soul was as pure as it was potent, though there can be no doubt that she won David’s heart to herself, as well as to truth and righteousness. She no sooner leaves off speaking than David says, “Blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou.” “See, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.” Yet all this may stand in the realm of purity. Paul admonishes Timothy to intreat “the younger (women) as sisters, with all purity.” “As sisters” implies a familiar bond of love and fellowship, while “with all purity” suggests the caution which the natural attraction between the sexes demands.
At any rate we see that Abigail acted herself to move and win the heart of David. She sent her servants with her bounty, but she would not trust them with her mission. It may be possible that another could have done what she did, but we hardly think another could have done it so well.
But there is yet more in the speech of Abigail. We observe that though she acted for Nabal’s benefit, yet she acted directly against his wishes. There was no help for this, for his own wishes were directly against his own interests. We observe too that she has not one word of defence to offer in Nabal’s behalf, nor one word of respect either. He is a “man of Belial”—-that is, he is “of the devil,” as the apostle John speaks. “Nabal is his name, and folly is with him.” Nay, more. With an oath in her mouth, she says, “as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.” Let them be hopeless reprobates, as Nabal is. Let the judgement of God overtake them, as it will surely overtake Nabal.
Such talk may seem hard, coming from a wife, yet the fault was not Abigail’s, but Nabal’s. Her speech is so full of meekness and faith and spirituality that we would not dare to condemn it. She spoke the simple truth of Nabal, and said nothing which he did not well deserve. Some would condemn Abigail for speaking such things, and condemn her also for thinking them in her heart. We are of another mind. There are cases innumerable in which if a woman is to walk by faith and do right, she must do so not only without her husband, but in opposition to him. We do not believe Abigail could help thinking as she did, so long as Nabal was what he was. Neither do we suppose there was any sin in speaking as she thought on this occasion, though she had no call to do so on every occasion. We have seen some wives so determined to believe their husbands right, when in fact they are wrong, that they have compromised themselves, and sacrificed their own faith and spirituality. This can never be right, and thankfully, for a woman of Abigail’s spirit it is not so much as possible. So long as right is right, and wrong is wrong, no woman can owe such submission or such reverence to her husband, and I greatly suspect that there is a great deal more of pride in such submission than there is of humility. Women sustain their husbands in their wrong, in order that they may appear right themselves, while they keep the peace with their wayward husbands. Not so Abigail. She was as meek and humble as a woman could be, but this did not move her to countenance the ways of Nabal. She labors only to disclaim any complicity with those ways, and to make certain that they are not taken as any reflection upon herself. “But I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.”
We observe also that the whole thrust of Abigail’s speech was not to save Nabal or his household (though this doubtless moved her), but to save David from committing sin. She believed in David. She knew that his day was coming, and she wanted no blot on his record. “And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel, that this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself.” She knows well enough that Nabal deserves the vengeance, but she is determined that David shall leave that to God, and not avenge himself with his own hand. Her labor is not to spare Nabal the vengeance, but to spare David the sin.
Having secured all things with David, she will now speak to Nabal. “In the morning, when the wine was gone out of him,” she “told him these things.” We may suppose that she spoke to Nabal with the same solemn earnestness with which she had spoken to David, and her speech was doubtless with power. Alas, she was speaking to another ear than David’s. In David’s ear her voice wrought godly sorrow which worketh repentance. In Nabal’s ear it wrought only fear and death. “His heart died within him, and he became as a stone. And it came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died.” Thus with one stroke does the Lord avenge David, and deliver Abigail from the vexing yoke which she had taken upon herself in a day of youthful ignorance.
We marvel at the suddenness of this stroke. It is a very rare thing for God to execute vengeance in so sudden and peremptory a manner. Most of his saints must wait long years for this. The souls under the altar were slain by their enemies, and yet God will not avenge their blood, but tells them still to wait, while they go on crying “How long?” David was only reproached with an impotent insult, and God executes a capital vengeance without delay. This is so far from the ordinary manner of God that we are constrained to say, Surely this stroke was much more for Abigail’s sake than it was for David’s. She had suffered much and long at the hands of Nabal, where David had scarcely suffered at all.
Yet the stroke was no doubt for both of them, and not only to settle the wrongs of the past, but to confer a rich benefit for the future. David no sooner hears of the death of Nabal than he determines to make that beautiful face, that gentle soul, that earnest spirit, that heavenly wisdom, his own. “And David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife.”
This was beyond the fondest hopes of Abigail. To be the wife of Nabal yesterday, and of David tomorrow—-this was too much to hope, too good to be true. So the same sweet humility shines in all that she does and says when David sues for her hand, as when she had sued for his mercy. “And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.” Abigail seems entirely oblivious to her own worth. David’s worth she well knew, but she was content to admire him from a distance. But if Abigail knew nothing of her own worth, David knew it well. He admired her as much as she admired him, and with as good reason also. These were two kindred spirits, and surely it was God who made them one.
Yet we cannot pretend that Abigail lived happily ever after. No, for “David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they were also both of them his wives.” Such a marriage was never yet the fulfillment of any woman’s dreams. Yet we suppose that two things would serve to much mitigate the evils of polygamy in Abigail’s case. The first was that she was now the wife of David. The other was that she had formerly been the wife of Nabal.
As to the first of these, David was a great man, whom Abigail greatly admired. She would have been content to be a servant to wash the feet of his servants. Nevertheless, she herself was one of those rare women who are too far above the ordinary men ever to be able to be happy in the company of any of them. Such women are made for the great men of the earth, and their happiness is to be found only in union with such a man. Every woman needs a man whom she may not only admire, but also look up to. The greater the woman, the greater the man she must have. She needs a man who is above her, and to a woman of Abigail’s stature, there are but few such men on the earth. We may suppose, therefore, that to have had a share in David was as much to Abigail as it could have been to have had the whole of a lesser man.
And if ever her unsatisfactory lot, as but one of the several wives of David, should at any time cast a cold shadow over her soul, she had only to recall the years when she was the wife of Nabal. Surely this was far better than that. We suppose, then, that if ever a woman could find happiness in a polygamous marriage, that woman was Abigail, as the wife of David.
Glenn Conjurske